June 13, 2011

A Good Day with a Splash of Rage

Good day so far. The first 4-5 hours of work usually are the longest, but today for some reason, they seemed to zip by. It's now almost 2 and I'm finishing up on my lunch (I've been eating leftovers for the last 4 days).

I just jumped into this blog and realized that I don't have much to say, but for the sake of creativity and possibly sanity, I force myself to press onward.

.  .  .

Let's just say that I'm on fire.  My brain is burning, my eyes are burning, the muscles in my back and legs are burning.  The source of the fire is uncertain.  But I just realized I'm angry.  Or just feeling feisty.  I'm frustrated with this black swivel chair that is my constant companion 9 hours a day, 5 days a week.  I'm mad at the little lizard outside my window that taunts me, saying "you can't catch me, sucker".  I'm fed up with married men strolling about the office making their coffee, leaving the toilet seat up, and being devilishly distracting.  I'm angry at my hair for being split at the ends and my suede shoes that are getting dirty from overuse.  I'm mad at my skirt for continuing to rise up to my bellybutton, a place I believe no clothes line should touch.  I'm frustrated with eBay and all the sellers on there, for making me wait for the items I purchased.  And I'm still on fire.

And I'm still having a good day.  I have 3.5 hours of work left and someone just gave me a new project that entitles me to draw on paper; something that undeniably fills me with joy.  I do have something to do later tonight, but I don't feel like doing it.  I'm feeling like an innie bellybutton.  I just want some time to myself, maybe float in the pool despite the fact I may not get any sun, damning me to eternal whiteness, but that's okay with me.  I just want some quiet time where I don't have to move, or think about your feelings, my feelings, work, males, text messages, Facebook, calories, plans, obligations, surgeries, nothing.

Silence. Floating on the perfectly lukewarm water. Bobbing quietly on the slight ripples.

I'm not sure if you can hear that, but I sure can. and right now, that's all I want in the world. But I wont get it. Not today. Maybe I could try late at night if I'm not too busy. But that's okay if I can't.

Because today is still a good day.

No comments:

Post a Comment