Failure

I woke up today and it seemed like any other day. I had slept a little later than I intended to so I was in my usual rush to get ready. I was pleased, however, when I found a cute green silk dress in my sister's closet and I paired it with my favorite red shoes. I even put my hair up and took extra time with my makeup. Needless to say, I was looking pretty fancy. When I left the house to get in my car, I noticed a homeless man with a shopping cart going from trash can to trash can looking for something he can salvage. Immediately I felt silly in my little silk dress and fancy heels when this man had gray and tattered clothing and a very scruffy beard. I knew he couldn't afford any better and I wondered if he looked at me and thought I was a silly spoiled girl.

I said 'good morning' to the man and he muttered a 'hello' back and he kept on his way, dinning through the trash. After I got in my car I remembered that I had a cup of yogurt in my purse I could give it to him... but I kept driving. A bad feeling in my stomach started getting worse and worse but I couldn't bring myself to offer it, so I drove past him and watched him shrink in my rear view mirror. I immediately started to mentally berate myself and my the time I got to the freeway I had another chance to turn around, but I didn't. Then when I got to the first exit away from mine and there was another chance to turn around. If you're thinking this story ends happily, it doesn't. I didn't turn around.

Feeling horrible, I cried on my way to work, messing up my pretty makeup. I could have helped him. I could have gone back in my house and got him more food that I really don't need, but I didn't. I was given an opportunity and I failed.

I really hope I have another chance to help someone and when that chance comes that I can be brave enough to lend a hand. I feel awful for what I did, or what I did not do.

If you see someone who needs help, please help them. I will try my hardest to do the same.

Not A Nerd, Just Excited

Today is a beautiful day. Not just the fact that it is Friday, but it is actually beautiful. The sun is shining, it's pleasantly warm, the air smells nice, clear blue skies, etc. This morning I woke up late, tangled up in sheets and pillows with a stupid grin on my face. Ariel comes in a few minutes later to pillage my closet once again. With her work schedule, she is usually long gone by the time I even think about waking up but today she was running late as well so I took even longer getting ready. I was having fun just talking with her and stamping around the bathroom while she put on her makeup. At 7:45 (I have to leave by 8 to be on time) I decided it was time to get into the shower. I did my best renditions of  "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" by Frankie Valli and "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan as I scrubbed the sleep from my face. I even hear Ariel applauding from the next room.

I'm finally at work but it isn't dragging like most days. I'm pretty excited because I have a marketing conference today (just me, my boss and a vendor). I feel like one of the big shots but I'm really just focusing on trying not to sound/act like a 19 year old during the meeting. So no chewing in the tables for me! No sir, not today.

Also, don't tell anyone else from the office, but I'm leaving work early as well. 'Why?' you ask? I'll tell you. The Hunger Games came out in theaters as of midnight last night and I was unable to attend so Ariel, Michael and I got tickets for a 4:00 showing. I'm. So. Excited. Not to be a super fanatic, but I do have a mockingjay decal on my car and I am wearing a mockingjay pin (covered by a scarf). I also dressed today in a similar style to Katniss (the main character) with a plain black tee, my now dark drown hair, and combat boots that are capable of kicking even the toughest of butts.

Not that I'm a nerd or anything... I'm just excited.

Gym Mouse

Ever since I've moved into my new house I've been working really hard on one thing: making a good schedule. With 8-6ish covered with work and commuting and a decent bed time at 10, that gives me roughly 4 hours to get stuff done/do what I want. I could easily spend 3 of those hours on the computer and the other hour eating and getting ready for bed, but what I've been working on is taking my workout clothes to work with me so I can just stop by the gym after work (I love the fact that my new house is about 5 minutes from my gym instead of the previous 15 minutes).

I've always loved working out, and when I say always I mean since my Junior year in High School when I started taking a weight training class. I loved pushing the limits of what my body could do (not to mention the rippling muscles that came with that). So now that I'm old, (2 years out of HS, baby!) I really want to get back in to working out like I was before.

I'll admit that I'm just starting out and am still too scared to go over to the weights by myself (I go to Gold's Gym and they have a LOT of huge guys there) so until I grow a pair, I'll be over on the treadmill and bike machines trying to get into cardio, which I hate (I'm not exactly a gym rat yet). It was fun last night because I saw my big brother Skylar at the gym and I felt like one of the Cool People for knowing one of the Cool People. I even paused my workout to stop him on a couple lifts. I'm guessing that looked pretty funny to anyone who was watching: A 115 pound girl helping a 200+ pound guy bench about 265lbs. I standing there in my little blue shorts yelling "One more, one more! You got this!" and Skylar is making his workout grunting noises. The last rep takes all this strength (and all of mine) to get up and back to the rack. I love working out with Skylar. :)

I'd really rather be at the gym right now then sitting at a desk all day. I blame this stupid office chair for the squish that's starting to work on my belly. Squish that will soon be obliterated!!!!!

My Senior year in strength training. Those are my trainees right there. <3

Check out those guns!

Courageous Intentions

So the first thing I hear when I come into work this morning is a high pinched beep noise. Nancy calls from down the hall that we have a problem so I rush over there to find that a battery pack for a computer was making that noise. Since she didn't know how to make the noise stop she just shut the door to that room and when she came back to finally unplug the battery, she found the door was locked. After trying every key we had (I even bruised my hip trying to ram it open), I went to go get my gym shorts so I could climb over the wall (there was about a foot of space up there) and unlock it from the other side.

The guys from next door hear all the commotion and come over to help saying they had an equally small guy (my size) who could do it for us. After he climbed through he was able to open the door. I went in there and restarted the battery pack, killing the dreadful noise. All the guys went back to work and Nancy went to make her much needed coffee.

This all happened before 9:00. I think this is going to be a good day. :) 


*I'd like to point out that these are the same guys who catch me doing other stupid stuff like locking my keys in the car, driving over curbs, tinkering around under the hood after work, not being able to lock the front door, setting off the office alarm, etc.


They must think I'm the most incompetent girl in the world, but hey, I was going to climb over that wall myself!

Accomplished, But Not In All Areas

My Weekend:

• Slept in
• Planted a garden
• Lunch with my sister
• Relocated an extra car
• Fixed both my burnt out headlights (by myself)
• Drew 3 pictures of my characters
• Worked out Friday and Saturday
• Dyed my sister's hair
• Was pretty social at church

I must say that was one of the most productive weekends I've had in a very long time. I was excited to get so much done and I figured I would sleep very well on Sunday night but alas, I spend the night wide awake thinking of only the most random of things. I may be able to blame my rock hard bed (I've learned that just because it's cheap, doesn't mean it's good) but it's probably just my brain's fault. 

New and exciting things to come: I'm flying over to South Dakota to visit my oldest sister, Sunny, my favorite brother-in-law, Nate, and my brand new niece, Claire! It will be a nice break from work and I'll be able to see my more distant family (Mom is coming with me too so that will be tons of fun). 

In other not so exciting news: I tried my first attempt in flirting the other day. In my defense, I'd like to point out that I'm really really out of practice. I didn't do it because I thought I'd get a date out of it, but because I was curious if I had any skills at all. The conversation went like this:

Ace Cashier: So, how are you today?

Me, purchasing a lock: Pretty good.

AC: That's good. What are you locking up?

Me: Gym clothes. I'm heading out to the gym and I didn't want to leave them unlocked. 

(Attempting and failing at the card swiper)

AC: Uh, it doesn't tell you, but you have to sign first.

Me: Oh, that sneaky thing! (Did I really just say that?)

AC: Yeah, it pulled a fast one on you. 

Me: ... uh, have a good day.

AC: You too.

I said I attempted, not succeeded. 

My Nerd-dom

I woke up this morning and just laid there for quite a bit of time. It wasn't until my sister came in to swipe some clothes from my closet did I get the strength to get up. We chatted for a few moments about our plans for the day and then I went to look in the mirror. My first thought? "What is the least amount of energy I can put into getting ready to be presentable?" To be honest, I totally skipped the shower and just washed my face and got the little sleep waves out of my hair. I slathered on extra makeup to make up for the lack of cute hair. I'm actually getting pretty good at this, and miraculously, I was at work 10 minutes early today!

I'll admit I haven't been very productive thus far, but I am working on my costume for Comicon!!!!  (Me = anime nerd, in case you didn't know). I haven't completely decided on who I will dress up as, but it's most likely going to be Ai from an anime called Hell Girl. See below-

I'm excited to say that I already have the wig, I know where to get the costume and now I just need to find shoes, socks, and some very red contacts. I'm so very excited!!! But one has to be very careful when cosplaying (click for definition) because you will fall into one of these two categories: Win and Fail. Here are some pictures to illustrate: 

Win:

_________________________________________________

Fail:

I hope I don't ending up looking like the latter people.

Never the less, I will be accomplishing a dream of mine that I've had for some time now. I believe I have until the end of May to be ready, so I think I will also try and sew a costume. This one will be super tough but I'm willing to give it a go... as soon as I get my sewing machine back.

This kimono will be death of me, I just know it.

Hesitant Men

One thing that amuses me greatly is the dynamic between men and women. Last Saturday I got my hair dyed from my normal red color to a very dark brown (pics to follow, maybe). A few people knew my plan but most everyone was surprised by the sudden change in color. I was interested to see who at work would mention anything. As I expected, right when I come in the office the girls say how much they like it and complement my stylist and we chat about salon prices. The guys are a different story.

First they look at you a little longer then usual, no doubt wondering if something is different at all, then they seem like they are about to say something, but no. They are wary from the times they asked a female if they got their hair done and she says she did, two weeks ago and they just never noticed. So initially they are hesitant, and my favorite thing is I can see all this playing across their faces, wordlessly. Once they finally muster the courage to ask,"Did you do something to your hair?" and I answer yes, a look of relief washes over them and they say "looks good" or something to that effect when really they are internally celebrating for getting it right.

I'm pretty sure most of you ladies know what I'm talking about, and so do the men.

I'm sure most of you don't even know what my natural color looks like. :)

Kissing You, Baby

The difference between yesterday and today is quite drastic. Today I am all sunshine and bubbles whereas yesterday I had the hardest time even lifting my arms up I was so depressed. Even though this morning started off shakey (waking up late mixed with lingering feelings from a bad dream and stubbing my toe to top it off), there was one thing that brought my day around to full sunshine: This song.

Yes, I know it isn't even in English but I couldn't help the infectious happiness wash over me. There is something I really like about Korean Pop (or Kpop) and you can make fun of me if you want but I've got this stuff all over my iPod!

After a start like that, I bounced into work, chatting up all my coworkers and joking around the water cooler (literally). I think today is going to be a great day, and I'm sure the fact that it's Friday helps out a lot. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Is It Really That Weird?

With my usual internet perusing, I came across an article on how living alone can make you weird. I thought "let's see what funny things these weirdos do" hoping I would get a good laugh at it. Halfway through the article I realized I did over half the things mentioned (the other half included alcohol). I thought to myself. "well I don't even really live alone" but then again, I spend most of my time by myself (especially since I'm recently single :s ).

To be fair, I'd like to say that there is nothing wrong with being a little weird. If you're alone, you just learn to entertain yourself. Then I wondered, is the stuff I do really that weird? Please comment if you have ever done anything close to the following:

• Sing epic ballads in the shower
• Talk to yourself on a regular basis (sometimes in different accents)
• Examine your pores nightly in a mirror
• Coming home late at night and attempting to cook things
• Never closing the bathroom door
• Talking to your animals
• Never eating a proper meal
• Taking popsicles in the shower with you (seriously, you need to try it)
• Play dress up with stuff in your closet, take pictures, then delete them
• Take every opportunity to not wear pants
• Run and slide across the tile in your socks
• Randomly bust out with kung-foo moves
• Yell at inanimate objects when they don't behave, or if they give you a funny look
• Watch a movie, then spend the next hour fantasizing yourself as one of the characters
• etc.

I will neither confirm or deny that I have done any (or all) of these. What are some weird things you do?

Let's just hope the weirdness doesn't spill over to the times you're in public. Sadly, I'm still working on this.