A girl at my office mentioned that she needs to start looking for a new apartment. Just the mention of that made me catch the bug. The "I want my own place" bug. It happens every few months. It was more realistic back before my sister was married and I had potential for a roommate, but now that she's changed her last name and moved half a country away, there really is no one that I would like to live with (except Adam, but he would have to put a ring on it first).
I spent over an hour today looking at one bedroom places and drawing in where I would put my furniture in the grainy floor plans provided online. I'm also going to go over my finances again tonight to see if there is anyway I could afford such a thing. Maybe I could sell some artwork or sell a novel or win the lottery. Or something.
I'm thinking my mom will say no to the living alone idea. For some reason she thinks I'm a depressive hermit who shouldn't be left alone....
June 12, 2013
June 07, 2013
Escape From Wellness Exams
This morning I went to the doctor's office for my yearly woman's exam. Like most of you out there, I'm not a fan.
As I was laying in wait on the crinkly paper, with naught but a scant paper vest, I began to think of my options to get out of the upcoming event. My best thought was taken from the iconic Leeloo from the Fifth Element. I could jump down from the table and run out the door in the buff, make it to my car, or wait for Bruce Willis to find me and get me the heck out of there.
Then I realized that I wouldn't be looking as good as Miss Jovovich as I ran my white butt through the hallways. I also realized that I wouldn't have any cool music as I ran, so they whole thing would be less than epic and more on the comical side.
So, I went through the exam and now I'm glad I have 364 days to prepare myself for the next time it happens.
As I was laying in wait on the crinkly paper, with naught but a scant paper vest, I began to think of my options to get out of the upcoming event. My best thought was taken from the iconic Leeloo from the Fifth Element. I could jump down from the table and run out the door in the buff, make it to my car, or wait for Bruce Willis to find me and get me the heck out of there.
Then I realized that I wouldn't be looking as good as Miss Jovovich as I ran my white butt through the hallways. I also realized that I wouldn't have any cool music as I ran, so they whole thing would be less than epic and more on the comical side.
So, I went through the exam and now I'm glad I have 364 days to prepare myself for the next time it happens.
April 24, 2013
Yay Summer?
While sitting here at work and listening to the usual chatter, I realize that school is almost over for the semester which makes me pretty excited. This semester I was taking two night classes which filled up three nights a week. I know there are a lot of people who do much more than that but for me this was a little rough. I'm excited for the summer to come, but not for the heat!
Living in Arizona during the summer wasn't the best of ideas and I figure I'm still a little too young to do the snowbird thing. I do get to look forward to a couple trips in the next few months.
First I get to go to California for a... card tournament. Ariel, Michael and I will be driving over there to do some Kaijudo duels. Despite the nerdiness of it, I'm very excited.
Second, I get to go back home to Washington for the weekend and this time I'm bringing Adam with me. I'm looking forward to showing him the house I grew up in, my old schools, and our tiny town. We are also bringing my nephew and my brother's cat with us on the plane so that ought to be an adventure.
Thirdly, I have a family reunion to go to in July! We will be driving to Utah to a ranch to spend a few days there with all the family (which is a rather large group).
So, despite the heat, I'm ready for the summer!
Living in Arizona during the summer wasn't the best of ideas and I figure I'm still a little too young to do the snowbird thing. I do get to look forward to a couple trips in the next few months.
First I get to go to California for a... card tournament. Ariel, Michael and I will be driving over there to do some Kaijudo duels. Despite the nerdiness of it, I'm very excited.
Second, I get to go back home to Washington for the weekend and this time I'm bringing Adam with me. I'm looking forward to showing him the house I grew up in, my old schools, and our tiny town. We are also bringing my nephew and my brother's cat with us on the plane so that ought to be an adventure.
Thirdly, I have a family reunion to go to in July! We will be driving to Utah to a ranch to spend a few days there with all the family (which is a rather large group).
So, despite the heat, I'm ready for the summer!
April 11, 2013
Haley's Average Morning
6:00. Alarm goes off. Hit snooze.
6:30. Second Alarm goes off. Half awake now.
Start looking through Instagram in the attempt that it will wake me up.
Fail three times at this.
It is now 7:30. Grab my 5' bear, Lincoln, and soak in the last of his fuzzy warmth.
Fall asleep again.
It is now 7:50.
Crawl out of bed. 25 minutes till I need to leave for work.
Look in the mirror and assess damage.
37 seconds to calculate appropriate strategy to salvage hair.
Pee.
Wash face.
Brush teeth.
Tuck away straggler hairs back into yesterday's braid.
Slap on minimal make-up to cover redness.
Back to bedroom.
Remove all clothes.
Don new undies, locate comfy maxi dress in laundry pile. Memorized the spot the night before.
Fist pump.
Throw on cardigan and sandals.
Perfume for lack of shower.
Feed the General (beta fish).
Pet Parker and Stormie's bellies (rats).
Final mirror check with finishing hairspray.
Downstairs to the fridge. Grab yesterdays packed lunch.
Out the door by 8:15.
15 minutes to get to work.
Beat the boss in.
Look great doing it.
6:30. Second Alarm goes off. Half awake now.
Start looking through Instagram in the attempt that it will wake me up.
Fail three times at this.
It is now 7:30. Grab my 5' bear, Lincoln, and soak in the last of his fuzzy warmth.
Fall asleep again.
It is now 7:50.
Crawl out of bed. 25 minutes till I need to leave for work.
Look in the mirror and assess damage.
37 seconds to calculate appropriate strategy to salvage hair.
Pee.
Wash face.
Brush teeth.
Tuck away straggler hairs back into yesterday's braid.
Slap on minimal make-up to cover redness.
Back to bedroom.
Remove all clothes.
Don new undies, locate comfy maxi dress in laundry pile. Memorized the spot the night before.
Fist pump.
Throw on cardigan and sandals.
Perfume for lack of shower.
Feed the General (beta fish).
Pet Parker and Stormie's bellies (rats).
Final mirror check with finishing hairspray.
Downstairs to the fridge. Grab yesterdays packed lunch.
Out the door by 8:15.
15 minutes to get to work.
Beat the boss in.
Look great doing it.
April 10, 2013
A Masochist
When I'm feeling particularly masochistic, I will look at pictures of other people's wedding. I will hop onto Pinterest and look at all the dress/decoration/lovey ideas on there. And I will feel bad. Very very bad.
Let me tell you a secret.
I want to get married.
Very, very badly.
I may be young, but I know what I want and I know what my instincts are telling me. But alas, the boy won't marry me. So for now I sit and stare at people who get to live with the person they love with all their heart every. single. day. And I will be sad.
I know I need to be happy now. I have a fantastic relationship and not very many responsibilities, so I can be happy. But that doesn't stop the heart-tearing feelings I get when I know it's not my turn and probably wont be for a very long time.
It breaks my heart every day.
So here I am today, a masochist.
Let me tell you a secret.
I want to get married.
Very, very badly.
I may be young, but I know what I want and I know what my instincts are telling me. But alas, the boy won't marry me. So for now I sit and stare at people who get to live with the person they love with all their heart every. single. day. And I will be sad.
I know I need to be happy now. I have a fantastic relationship and not very many responsibilities, so I can be happy. But that doesn't stop the heart-tearing feelings I get when I know it's not my turn and probably wont be for a very long time.
It breaks my heart every day.
So here I am today, a masochist.
April 04, 2013
March 25, 2013
Scorpion Queen
As I finally get out of bed once I realized I slept through my second alarm, I got a text from my roommate Amberlee.
"Hey girls, I don't want to worry you but I got stung by a scorpion in my room. Everyone please be careful."
By that time, everyone was gone for work except me and Amberlee. I found her sleeping in the kitchen on the couch. Luckily she didn't have a bad reaction to it but she said she didn't kill it. The realization hit me that he was still out there, on the prowl, ready to strike again.
Since my room was right next to Amberlee's, I couldn't leave for work until I knew that scorpion was dead. So I sent my boss a message explaining the situation and till in my pjs, I donned my tallest boots and grabbed a pair of tongs. With Amberlee at my side, we went through every single thing on her floor that it could be hiding under.
Let me pause and tell you that: I. Do. Not. Like. Bugs. Therefore, I am usually not brave when it comes to the extermination of such things, but when it comes to home security, I am one determined little girl. If a bug sets foot in my house, let alone my room, he has just signed his own death warrant.
So Amberlee had a broom and was pushing things around and I was shaking out her blankets and clothes. I was cringing and squeamish and every little thing I picked up, afraid of what I might find. I said a quick, silent prayer that I would find it, and sure enough, the next thing I shook out, a little tan scorpion fell out.
I'm pretty sure we both screamed.
I grabbed the menace with the tongs and squealed. Like a little girl. We ran downstairs and grabbed a jar. I dumped him in there and found he was still alive (I thought I had squished him pretty hard). I poured bleach in the jar, a little trick I heard somewhere, and waited for him to die.
I think he's still on our kitchen counter.
This is the first time I've seen a scorpion up and personal and now I'm terrified to think there may be more in our house. Although I did scream like a girl, I know Amberlee thinks I'm brave (I won't try to convince her otherwise).
"Hey girls, I don't want to worry you but I got stung by a scorpion in my room. Everyone please be careful."
By that time, everyone was gone for work except me and Amberlee. I found her sleeping in the kitchen on the couch. Luckily she didn't have a bad reaction to it but she said she didn't kill it. The realization hit me that he was still out there, on the prowl, ready to strike again.
Since my room was right next to Amberlee's, I couldn't leave for work until I knew that scorpion was dead. So I sent my boss a message explaining the situation and till in my pjs, I donned my tallest boots and grabbed a pair of tongs. With Amberlee at my side, we went through every single thing on her floor that it could be hiding under.
Let me pause and tell you that: I. Do. Not. Like. Bugs. Therefore, I am usually not brave when it comes to the extermination of such things, but when it comes to home security, I am one determined little girl. If a bug sets foot in my house, let alone my room, he has just signed his own death warrant.
So Amberlee had a broom and was pushing things around and I was shaking out her blankets and clothes. I was cringing and squeamish and every little thing I picked up, afraid of what I might find. I said a quick, silent prayer that I would find it, and sure enough, the next thing I shook out, a little tan scorpion fell out.
I'm pretty sure we both screamed.
I grabbed the menace with the tongs and squealed. Like a little girl. We ran downstairs and grabbed a jar. I dumped him in there and found he was still alive (I thought I had squished him pretty hard). I poured bleach in the jar, a little trick I heard somewhere, and waited for him to die.
I think he's still on our kitchen counter.
This is the first time I've seen a scorpion up and personal and now I'm terrified to think there may be more in our house. Although I did scream like a girl, I know Amberlee thinks I'm brave (I won't try to convince her otherwise).
Just call me the Scorpion Queen.
March 05, 2013
20: Why It Rocked And Sucked
I was very excited to turn 20 and finally be out of my teens officially. I was very very ready to be an adult, but the way things turned out, 20 was one of my hardest years. There were some really great times but sometimes the bad outweighed the good.
Why it Sucked
Why it Rocked
So, overall, it wasn't completely horrible but I am very much looking forward to 21 and what adventures that year brings!
Why it Sucked
- Just days after my 20th birthday, I had the infamous incident with the ant that sent me to the hospital for three days (two of those in ICU).
- Following the hospital, a plethora of other related and non-related illnesses and conditions started to follow.
- These conditions resulted in putting my of different medications, some I will have to take for the rest of my life.
- And then the bills came. Hospital visits are very expensive and I support myself financially so all that money came out of my nice savings account.
- Once my savings account was depleted and monthly bill payments were being made, my car decides it needs to leak and die.
- An odd twitching thing I developed (looks like mini seizures) sent me to the ER again and then resulted in another medication to take (tally up to four prescriptions now, not including vitamins).
Why it Rocked
- I have been dating Adam all throughout my 20th year making for wonderful times and lots of laughs.
- I was finally able to get back into school. Writing and art classes seem like fun school work to me.
- My oldest brother got married and then my sister got married! So that makes two new additions to the family.
- I got this super fantastic job as a paralegal with one of my favorite attorneys and now I'm so proffesional (not really).
So, overall, it wasn't completely horrible but I am very much looking forward to 21 and what adventures that year brings!
February 22, 2013
Ye Olde Post
Guys, it's Friday. I'm in jeans and I just need to make it through the next seven hours. I'm so very excited for this weekend because Adam finally doesn't have to work this Saturday so we will be going to the Renaissance Fair!! Sure, I go every year, but this year is special... because I will finally be dressing up this time! I mean in full puffy dress, long sleeves, bodice type dressing up. Adam has even agreed to dress up with me. You have no idea how excited this makes me.
We will be making a point to take pictures and eat one of those massive turkey legs while we are there. Happy day!!
We will be making a point to take pictures and eat one of those massive turkey legs while we are there. Happy day!!
This is definitely one of those places where you feel
awkward when you're not the one dressed up.
February 20, 2013
Not So Wise Now
So I got my wisdom teeth out last Thursday and boy, was that interesting. My face is finally going back to it's normal size and I'm starting to be able to eat more than applesauce and pudding.
Second day puffy right there, and day two of not showering. Thankfully Adam's family let me stay at their house in the "sick chair" where I could recuperate and try to be less dead. Adam was very sweet and changed out my bloody gauze as well as taking video of me right after the oporation. It's a little embarrasing but kinda entertaining so I thought I'd share.
Second day puffy right there, and day two of not showering. Thankfully Adam's family let me stay at their house in the "sick chair" where I could recuperate and try to be less dead. Adam was very sweet and changed out my bloody gauze as well as taking video of me right after the oporation. It's a little embarrasing but kinda entertaining so I thought I'd share.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Enjoy.
February 07, 2013
Five Things I'd Rather Be Doing
I'm stitting here at work with a very full tummy (turning on my sleep mode) with three hours left of work to go. Although I love my job, there are quite a few other things I would like to be doing:
- Cleaning my room.
I know this may sound like torture to some of your but my room is horrible and I desperately need a clean slate. Also, if I clean my room, I can get my new bookcases in finally! - Playing outside.
I don't know if you're in Arizona or not, but February is a beautiful month where it is sunny and warm outside with birds singing (it's like everyone elses' late spring). I do not want to be stuck inside on a day like this. - Cuddling my man.
Adam has been putting some crazy hours at work so I haven't been able to see him much. Knowing that we are both amazingly tired, I would love to just laze about on the couch with him watching our shows. - Working on my homework.
This also sounds like a very not fun thing, but when your classes are fiction writing and drawing, it doesn't exactly feel like homework. - Driving to the beach.
It's been a few years since I've been to the ocean and I feel it calling my name. It's one of those urges I get every once in a while that needs to be quickly satisfyed lest I feel inccomplete.
February 05, 2013
A New Start
Wow wow wow. It's been way too long since the last time I blogged. I couldn't talk about it earlier for obvious reasons, but I left my old job at the law firm for...duhn duhn duuuunh!!! Another law firm! This time instead of being the receptionist who does what everyone doesn't want to do, I'm a paralegal for one of my attorneys from the last job. I've only been here for five days and it's a lot to learn but I'm having fun. I definitely stay busy and get a lot of work done. The office is super beautiful and there lots of other attorneys besides patent and trademark attorneys.
I'm trying to get back into the blogging realm but it might take a while since school started up. This time I'm taking Intermediate Fiction Writing and Drawing 101. I love both these classes but the three hour class periods are kind of killing me, especially right when I get off work and run to school. Luckily I get along with my teachers and it's only three days a week.
So next weekend I'm getting my wisdom teeth taken out and I'm going to have Adam record the aftermath. If it's funny (and not too embarrassing) I'll most likely link it to a post for your viewing enjoyment. I planned it right on Valentines day (so romantic) and then won't have to go back to work till Tuesday thanks to the holiday coming up. So it'll be a five day weekend for me. [Here's a link to my favorite wisdom teeth video]
I also didn't get to blog about my trip home to Washington this January but it wasn't exactly super eventful. Lots of laying around the house with my family having fun and being cold.
Oh! And I ended up in the ER again a few weeks ago. This was for these huge convulsions I was having (not a seizure). It wouldn't stop and Adam literally had to drag me out of my bed to get me to go (from my last experience with the hospital and the massive bills left behind, you can probably see why). We waited in the waiting room for 4 hours before my "twitching" had finally stopped. I couldn't even walk before that. So five hours total time, without seeing and doctor, and a promise to be very sore the next day, I was finally dropped off at my house around 2am.
I guess a lot has happened to me in the last few weeks I haven't been blogging. I'll try harder to do some regular posting.
Over and out.
I'm trying to get back into the blogging realm but it might take a while since school started up. This time I'm taking Intermediate Fiction Writing and Drawing 101. I love both these classes but the three hour class periods are kind of killing me, especially right when I get off work and run to school. Luckily I get along with my teachers and it's only three days a week.
So next weekend I'm getting my wisdom teeth taken out and I'm going to have Adam record the aftermath. If it's funny (and not too embarrassing) I'll most likely link it to a post for your viewing enjoyment. I planned it right on Valentines day (so romantic) and then won't have to go back to work till Tuesday thanks to the holiday coming up. So it'll be a five day weekend for me. [Here's a link to my favorite wisdom teeth video]
I also didn't get to blog about my trip home to Washington this January but it wasn't exactly super eventful. Lots of laying around the house with my family having fun and being cold.
Oh! And I ended up in the ER again a few weeks ago. This was for these huge convulsions I was having (not a seizure). It wouldn't stop and Adam literally had to drag me out of my bed to get me to go (from my last experience with the hospital and the massive bills left behind, you can probably see why). We waited in the waiting room for 4 hours before my "twitching" had finally stopped. I couldn't even walk before that. So five hours total time, without seeing and doctor, and a promise to be very sore the next day, I was finally dropped off at my house around 2am.
I guess a lot has happened to me in the last few weeks I haven't been blogging. I'll try harder to do some regular posting.
Over and out.
January 08, 2013
Hospitalize Me, Baby
I am one stressed out individual lately. There are a million things happening at once and my body has decided to have everything go wrong once I hit 20. I'm currently paying off hospital bills, just found I need glasses, I will be getting my wisdom teeth out next month, and a couple other medical things I need to talk to the Dr about. This is going to be so expensive. If you've ever seen the movie Surrogates with Bruce Willis, I want one of those bodies so I can make mine behave.
I thought youth was the time you were healthiest.
Anyway, on another note, we just got two more roommates so that makes seven girls in one house. It gets pretty crazy sometimes but at least they are all fantastic girls. I wish I could write about all the things going on but that would take a long time and I'm a private person so that's a no-go. Adam is still a fantastic support for me during all these changes and events and I'm glad he has as much patience as he does with me.
Hopefully I will find something funny or cool to write about soon. Today is just an off day, but hopefully I can change that around.
I thought youth was the time you were healthiest.
Anyway, on another note, we just got two more roommates so that makes seven girls in one house. It gets pretty crazy sometimes but at least they are all fantastic girls. I wish I could write about all the things going on but that would take a long time and I'm a private person so that's a no-go. Adam is still a fantastic support for me during all these changes and events and I'm glad he has as much patience as he does with me.
Hopefully I will find something funny or cool to write about soon. Today is just an off day, but hopefully I can change that around.
December 28, 2012
Poetry Post: Soul Kissing
Lover dear
Kiss me like it’s the first time
Lean in hesitantly and slow.
Brush my lips with a tender touch
Colored white like snow.
There is something special
About the first kiss bestowed.
I’ve kissed you a thousand times
And my heart you know.
Now, Lover dear
Kiss me like it’s the last time
Full of passion and fire and need.
Pull me in, pressed up close to you
As if your heart might bleed.
Sometimes I need to feel the fire,
Sometimes just a reminder to know.
To kiss your lips is as close as I can be
To kissing and loving your soul.
December 27, 2012
Poetry Post: Taste You
This isn't attraction.
This isn't obsession.
This is curiosity.
There isn't much more
that I want to do with you
than stick my fingers in your brain
and see what I can find.
What makes you tick?
What are you thinking?
What do we all look like to you?
You’re just very different
but in a different way
than all the Individualistic Ghosts
that want to be unique.
Let me see what you see.
It’s not that I want you,
I just want to taste
your brain.
December 21, 2012
Open Doors- My Short Story
Here is the short story I wrote for my Fiction Writing class.
Everywhere there was red. The wet, slick sound of his fists smacking into flesh and bone over and over again resonated in the frigid air. There was red everywhere. Red on Kyle’s face, red on Mason’s hands, his vision dripping with it. As he kneeled over Kyle’s body, Mason could feel the cold from the concrete
seeping in through his jeans. He felt like crying but he didn’t know why.
Flash.
The bench was hard and Mason felt like he was falling asleep. Blurry figures spoke in muffled voices, their arms gesturing wildly like orchestra conductors. Eyes shot angry red glances over at Mason but he couldn’t feel their burn. The clack of the gavel was the only clear sound as the Judge sealed the sentence with an authoritative tone.
Flash.
A skinny blonde girl with eyes too big for her face and dry lips pulled up into a cracked and bleeding smile looked at him with anticipation. The rec room was empty besides Mason and this pale waif. Then there was a tugging at Mason’s brain. A knocking sensation that seems to get louder and harder the more he tried to ignore it. Knock knock. Finally Mason opened up to it. “Come in?” he thought. His vision was suddenly flooded by white light and he felt like his brain was being sucked from his head.
The world started to come back into focus but Mason began to notice he was no longer in the rec room. He stared up in awe at the landscape around him. The cerulean sky was patterned with massive rolling clouds that moved and changed as if he were watching a National Geographic on fast forward. The ground beneath his feet was covered in grass that swept against his knees. It swayed back and forth in the breeze along with a massive willow tree off to the west. The tree was perched on top of a daisy covered hill. Beneath it stood a small willowy figure.
“This can’t be real” Mason breathed as he smacked the side of his head to try and wake himself. The figure on the hill raised a thin arm, beckoning. Hesitantly, Mason started up the hill, taking in the giant purple mountains that seemed to loom in on the valley. The top of each was perfectly covered with snow like a dipped cone. This doesn’t happen in nature, Mason thought. As he got to the top, there stood the girl he had been staring at minutes ago when he was in the rec room.
“Hello, Mason. My name is Anne. Welcome to my paradise.” Mason looked around again, this time from the vantage point of the hill. Behind the tree off in the distance he could see a vast body of water that had no visible end. There was a white sandy beach at the beginning of it and the large rolling waves were all perfectly arced as they crashed into the shoreline.
“How did I get here?” Mason asked.
“Your brain works on a special frequency,” Anne stated casually, “just like mine. Right now, you’re in my brain, in my world.” A wave of nausea rolled over Mason and he sunk to the floor. He put his head between his knees and closed his eyes. Breathe, he thought, just breathe.
“Mason? Mason, are you even listening to me?” Dr. Tate asked, obviously annoyed. Mason looked up from the shag carpet he had been staring into.
“Mmm” he grunted. Dr. Tate pulled off his glasses and put them in his shirt pocket like he did when he was about to scold.
“You’ve been here at Everglade, what? Three months? I’ve seen no progress in your behavior and you seem more than unwilling to talk about anything. I’m here to help you but I can’t do that if you sit there like a comatose patient.” Dr.Tate leaned forward. “What can I do to help?” Mason looked away.
“For starters, you can let me go back to sleep.”
“Fine.” Dr. Tate sighed. “You can go to your room now. I’ll see you Thursday.
Mason started back to the east wing, dreaming of the last time he had gone into the world with Anne. They had spent the day creating massive rock sculptures that jutted out from the ocean floor. Mason had willed his to come in the form of a giant eagle with wings out stretched and head held towards the sky. Anne had made a mermaid that looked out over the waves as the waves roared around it. Together they both worked on a castle that was half submerged in the water. In this world, they could stay underwater all day without the need of air. They swam room from room creating all the details they imagined a castle would have. Mason could not think of a time in his whole entire life that he had been even remotely close to being this happy.Mason was almost to his door but stopped when he saw Anne in the rec room sitting on the floor between two couches. She smiled and waved him over. He had barely sat down next to her when she started bombarding him with questions.
“How was your Tater-Nater visit? Good? Bad? Did you cry? Did you tell him about the guy you killed?”
“I didn’t kill him. He almost died. I wonder if things would have ended differently if he did. They may have thrown me in jail instead of admitting me here.”
“But aren’t you glad you’re here?” Anne said with an overly wide smile. “If you hadn’t of come, you would have never met me!”
“Hmm, sure.”
“Don’t be like that.” Anne’s face dropped into a scowl faster than a flick of a light switch. “If it wasn’t for me, you would be a pill-swallowing zombie like everyone else in this hell hole. You need me to get out. There is no way getting around it. You still want to get out, right?”
Mason knew that getting out was the only thing worth working for. Everything else was a lie. “Recovery” meant being branded as cured of his sickness and sent to go live a crappy life with a dead-end job that ripped his soul right out of his chest. No matter what it took, he would find a way to get out this place, out of this state. If Anne was his ticket out, then he would cling to her with everything he had. Mason looked over
at Anne. She sat waiting for his response with her brows furrowed and her lips set in a hard line. Yes, Mason thought her attractive in a way. Her mouth was full but always cracked and dry, her hair was long and framed her heart-shaped face and she wasn’t as annoying as when they first met. Mason figured he could live with this choice as long as it meant freedom.
“Yeah, I want out. So what’s the plan?”
Anne’s face turned serious as she looked around to see if anyone was watching. She reached into her shirt and pulled out a baggie full of pills of every shape and color.
“What the…??”
“Shh!” Anne whispered.
“How did you get all of those?” Mason hissed.
“I’ve been here for a couple years now. Tonguing pills is a art I’ve developed and some of the other inmates are more than willing to share.”
“Well, what does getting out have to do with all these pills? Are you thinking of drugging the entire staff?”
“No way. Do you know how hard that would be? Listen.” Anne leaned closer to Mason’s face and spoke even softer. “There is a way we can stay in my world forever.”
“What? How?” Just the mention of Anne’s paradise created a yearning in the pit of his stomach.
“We have to kill ourselves. We overdose and then go into my world. Once our earth bodies die, we will be stuck in paradise forever!” Anne smiled. Mason’s face was frozen in a look of shock.
“You’ve got to be kidding. Are you insane? Oh, obviously you are or you wouldn’t be here in the first place!” Mason’s voice rose. “I knew you were crazy but I didn’t think you were retarded! How the hell do you think this will work?” Anne looked small as she pressed herself into the corner like a beaten puppy. “I thought you could be the one to help me but now I know you’re just as useless as the rest of the world.” He stalked off towards his room leaving Anne on the floor with tears building in her big eyes.
Mason slammed the door of his room and punched the nearest wall in frustration. All the time he had spent with Anne, building their perfect world, living like a king and queen and she wanted him to kill himself! The thought of being in her world forever with endless possibilities and freedom, it was so enticing. His chest was tight as he imagined taking the pills and slowly fading into nothing. He would cease to be and there would be no freedom, just the end of existence. He hit the wall again, this time splitting his knuckles open and smearing blood on the wall.
Anne slid into her own room and fell on the floor by her bed, tears streaming down her face. All alone again, the thought to herself.
“Always alone” she whispered with resignation as she stared pulling out one pill after another and swallowing them dry. Once the bag was empty, she closed her eyes and laid down on the cold floor. For the last time, pulled out of her physical body and into her mind where the sun was shining and everything would be okay.
The next day Mason got pulled out of group therapy and taken to the medical ward. Once he got there, a sad but smiling nurse sat him down and told him that Anne was in a coma after overdosing and her chances were very slim. Mason felt icy cold fingers tracing his spine as he asked if he could see her. Inside the room, Anne was a thin, pale doll with purple all around her big eyes. Her lips were cracked and dry and the slow beep of her heart monitor was the only noise Mason could hear. The nurse left him and he kneeled down by her side, slipping into her mind one last time.
Mason stood on muddy ground as the rain poured in sheets from a clouded grey sky. He trudged through the muck up the hill to the now dead willow at the top, a small figure sitting beneath. Their once perfect world was now dark and crumbling into ruin. His stone eagle monument was being pounded by the crashing waves. One of the wings had already broken off into the sea. Anne sat beneath the twisted, bare willow with her white dress covered in mud. Her mouth was pulled into a painful smile and her eyes were clouded as she watched Mason draw near.
“Isn’t this perfect? You came back. I knew you would.”
“Just to say goodbye.” Mason said morosely. As the words left him, there was a loud cracking sound as lightning split the sky.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said, Anne, and even though the real world is horrible and everyone is messed up in some way, at least it’s real and it’s mine. I decided I want to be a part of it, and no fake paradise can change my mind. I’m sorry.” He leaned down and softly kissed her dry, bleeding lips.
He wasn’t shocked when he found that they were already cold. Mason stood up and took in one last look at the small girl sitting cold in the mud. Mason turned and pulled back into his body.
Anne touched her lips as she watched as Mason disappeared into the glittering sun. A warm tear rolled down her cheek at the loss of her companion and possible love, but she continued to smile as her white lacy dress, the grass, and the trees rolled in the flora scented breeze. She had her paradise. She would be happy forever. Looking up into the blue sky dotted with puffy pink clouds, she raised her beautiful clean arms to the
sun.
“Your loss, Mason. You don’t know what you’re missing”. A large flock of brightly colored birds flew over her head towards the majestic purple mountains, singing a merry tune. “Your loss.”
Two months after Anne died, Mason was shaking hands with Dr. Tate before he left Everglade Institution. A yellow cab waited in the driveway to take him back to the real world where many opportunities awaited. The loss of Anne had finally woken something up in Mason that had been lying dormant for year: his passion for life. When she left, Mason started talking to Dr.Tate to work out his issues. He felt a strong sense of confidence and purpose.
Mason walked down the steps towards the car but as he opened the cab door, he felt a familiar tugging.That knocking sensation against his brain. Knock knock.
This time, he didn’t open.
Everywhere there was red. The wet, slick sound of his fists smacking into flesh and bone over and over again resonated in the frigid air. There was red everywhere. Red on Kyle’s face, red on Mason’s hands, his vision dripping with it. As he kneeled over Kyle’s body, Mason could feel the cold from the concrete
seeping in through his jeans. He felt like crying but he didn’t know why.
Flash.
The bench was hard and Mason felt like he was falling asleep. Blurry figures spoke in muffled voices, their arms gesturing wildly like orchestra conductors. Eyes shot angry red glances over at Mason but he couldn’t feel their burn. The clack of the gavel was the only clear sound as the Judge sealed the sentence with an authoritative tone.
Flash.
A skinny blonde girl with eyes too big for her face and dry lips pulled up into a cracked and bleeding smile looked at him with anticipation. The rec room was empty besides Mason and this pale waif. Then there was a tugging at Mason’s brain. A knocking sensation that seems to get louder and harder the more he tried to ignore it. Knock knock. Finally Mason opened up to it. “Come in?” he thought. His vision was suddenly flooded by white light and he felt like his brain was being sucked from his head.
The world started to come back into focus but Mason began to notice he was no longer in the rec room. He stared up in awe at the landscape around him. The cerulean sky was patterned with massive rolling clouds that moved and changed as if he were watching a National Geographic on fast forward. The ground beneath his feet was covered in grass that swept against his knees. It swayed back and forth in the breeze along with a massive willow tree off to the west. The tree was perched on top of a daisy covered hill. Beneath it stood a small willowy figure.
“This can’t be real” Mason breathed as he smacked the side of his head to try and wake himself. The figure on the hill raised a thin arm, beckoning. Hesitantly, Mason started up the hill, taking in the giant purple mountains that seemed to loom in on the valley. The top of each was perfectly covered with snow like a dipped cone. This doesn’t happen in nature, Mason thought. As he got to the top, there stood the girl he had been staring at minutes ago when he was in the rec room.
“Hello, Mason. My name is Anne. Welcome to my paradise.” Mason looked around again, this time from the vantage point of the hill. Behind the tree off in the distance he could see a vast body of water that had no visible end. There was a white sandy beach at the beginning of it and the large rolling waves were all perfectly arced as they crashed into the shoreline.
“How did I get here?” Mason asked.
“Your brain works on a special frequency,” Anne stated casually, “just like mine. Right now, you’re in my brain, in my world.” A wave of nausea rolled over Mason and he sunk to the floor. He put his head between his knees and closed his eyes. Breathe, he thought, just breathe.
“Mason? Mason, are you even listening to me?” Dr. Tate asked, obviously annoyed. Mason looked up from the shag carpet he had been staring into.
“Mmm” he grunted. Dr. Tate pulled off his glasses and put them in his shirt pocket like he did when he was about to scold.
“You’ve been here at Everglade, what? Three months? I’ve seen no progress in your behavior and you seem more than unwilling to talk about anything. I’m here to help you but I can’t do that if you sit there like a comatose patient.” Dr.Tate leaned forward. “What can I do to help?” Mason looked away.
“For starters, you can let me go back to sleep.”
“Fine.” Dr. Tate sighed. “You can go to your room now. I’ll see you Thursday.
Mason started back to the east wing, dreaming of the last time he had gone into the world with Anne. They had spent the day creating massive rock sculptures that jutted out from the ocean floor. Mason had willed his to come in the form of a giant eagle with wings out stretched and head held towards the sky. Anne had made a mermaid that looked out over the waves as the waves roared around it. Together they both worked on a castle that was half submerged in the water. In this world, they could stay underwater all day without the need of air. They swam room from room creating all the details they imagined a castle would have. Mason could not think of a time in his whole entire life that he had been even remotely close to being this happy.Mason was almost to his door but stopped when he saw Anne in the rec room sitting on the floor between two couches. She smiled and waved him over. He had barely sat down next to her when she started bombarding him with questions.
“How was your Tater-Nater visit? Good? Bad? Did you cry? Did you tell him about the guy you killed?”
“I didn’t kill him. He almost died. I wonder if things would have ended differently if he did. They may have thrown me in jail instead of admitting me here.”
“But aren’t you glad you’re here?” Anne said with an overly wide smile. “If you hadn’t of come, you would have never met me!”
“Hmm, sure.”
“Don’t be like that.” Anne’s face dropped into a scowl faster than a flick of a light switch. “If it wasn’t for me, you would be a pill-swallowing zombie like everyone else in this hell hole. You need me to get out. There is no way getting around it. You still want to get out, right?”
Mason knew that getting out was the only thing worth working for. Everything else was a lie. “Recovery” meant being branded as cured of his sickness and sent to go live a crappy life with a dead-end job that ripped his soul right out of his chest. No matter what it took, he would find a way to get out this place, out of this state. If Anne was his ticket out, then he would cling to her with everything he had. Mason looked over
at Anne. She sat waiting for his response with her brows furrowed and her lips set in a hard line. Yes, Mason thought her attractive in a way. Her mouth was full but always cracked and dry, her hair was long and framed her heart-shaped face and she wasn’t as annoying as when they first met. Mason figured he could live with this choice as long as it meant freedom.
“Yeah, I want out. So what’s the plan?”
Anne’s face turned serious as she looked around to see if anyone was watching. She reached into her shirt and pulled out a baggie full of pills of every shape and color.
“What the…??”
“Shh!” Anne whispered.
“How did you get all of those?” Mason hissed.
“I’ve been here for a couple years now. Tonguing pills is a art I’ve developed and some of the other inmates are more than willing to share.”
“Well, what does getting out have to do with all these pills? Are you thinking of drugging the entire staff?”
“No way. Do you know how hard that would be? Listen.” Anne leaned closer to Mason’s face and spoke even softer. “There is a way we can stay in my world forever.”
“What? How?” Just the mention of Anne’s paradise created a yearning in the pit of his stomach.
“We have to kill ourselves. We overdose and then go into my world. Once our earth bodies die, we will be stuck in paradise forever!” Anne smiled. Mason’s face was frozen in a look of shock.
“You’ve got to be kidding. Are you insane? Oh, obviously you are or you wouldn’t be here in the first place!” Mason’s voice rose. “I knew you were crazy but I didn’t think you were retarded! How the hell do you think this will work?” Anne looked small as she pressed herself into the corner like a beaten puppy. “I thought you could be the one to help me but now I know you’re just as useless as the rest of the world.” He stalked off towards his room leaving Anne on the floor with tears building in her big eyes.
Mason slammed the door of his room and punched the nearest wall in frustration. All the time he had spent with Anne, building their perfect world, living like a king and queen and she wanted him to kill himself! The thought of being in her world forever with endless possibilities and freedom, it was so enticing. His chest was tight as he imagined taking the pills and slowly fading into nothing. He would cease to be and there would be no freedom, just the end of existence. He hit the wall again, this time splitting his knuckles open and smearing blood on the wall.
Anne slid into her own room and fell on the floor by her bed, tears streaming down her face. All alone again, the thought to herself.
“Always alone” she whispered with resignation as she stared pulling out one pill after another and swallowing them dry. Once the bag was empty, she closed her eyes and laid down on the cold floor. For the last time, pulled out of her physical body and into her mind where the sun was shining and everything would be okay.
The next day Mason got pulled out of group therapy and taken to the medical ward. Once he got there, a sad but smiling nurse sat him down and told him that Anne was in a coma after overdosing and her chances were very slim. Mason felt icy cold fingers tracing his spine as he asked if he could see her. Inside the room, Anne was a thin, pale doll with purple all around her big eyes. Her lips were cracked and dry and the slow beep of her heart monitor was the only noise Mason could hear. The nurse left him and he kneeled down by her side, slipping into her mind one last time.
Mason stood on muddy ground as the rain poured in sheets from a clouded grey sky. He trudged through the muck up the hill to the now dead willow at the top, a small figure sitting beneath. Their once perfect world was now dark and crumbling into ruin. His stone eagle monument was being pounded by the crashing waves. One of the wings had already broken off into the sea. Anne sat beneath the twisted, bare willow with her white dress covered in mud. Her mouth was pulled into a painful smile and her eyes were clouded as she watched Mason draw near.
“Isn’t this perfect? You came back. I knew you would.”
“Just to say goodbye.” Mason said morosely. As the words left him, there was a loud cracking sound as lightning split the sky.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said, Anne, and even though the real world is horrible and everyone is messed up in some way, at least it’s real and it’s mine. I decided I want to be a part of it, and no fake paradise can change my mind. I’m sorry.” He leaned down and softly kissed her dry, bleeding lips.
He wasn’t shocked when he found that they were already cold. Mason stood up and took in one last look at the small girl sitting cold in the mud. Mason turned and pulled back into his body.
Anne touched her lips as she watched as Mason disappeared into the glittering sun. A warm tear rolled down her cheek at the loss of her companion and possible love, but she continued to smile as her white lacy dress, the grass, and the trees rolled in the flora scented breeze. She had her paradise. She would be happy forever. Looking up into the blue sky dotted with puffy pink clouds, she raised her beautiful clean arms to the
sun.
“Your loss, Mason. You don’t know what you’re missing”. A large flock of brightly colored birds flew over her head towards the majestic purple mountains, singing a merry tune. “Your loss.”
Two months after Anne died, Mason was shaking hands with Dr. Tate before he left Everglade Institution. A yellow cab waited in the driveway to take him back to the real world where many opportunities awaited. The loss of Anne had finally woken something up in Mason that had been lying dormant for year: his passion for life. When she left, Mason started talking to Dr.Tate to work out his issues. He felt a strong sense of confidence and purpose.
Mason walked down the steps towards the car but as he opened the cab door, he felt a familiar tugging.That knocking sensation against his brain. Knock knock.
This time, he didn’t open.
A Challenge
I just challenged my friend Hollyann and myself to write something every day for the next seven days. Starting today. It's been a couple of weeks since my writing class ended so I've had less time to write, or rather, less motivation. I got a good kick in the pants when I saw the blog of a fellow classmates and his was much better than mine. Sad day.
So, here I am, with new resolve.
And I'm going to start posting story stuff. Just don't steal my ideas.
So, here I am, with new resolve.
And I'm going to start posting story stuff. Just don't steal my ideas.
December 17, 2012
Pretty Pathetic
So I'm about to get all pathetic on you... but my boyfriend is out of town and it seems he took my motivation with him. Yesterday I did not get out of my bed till 2 pm I did not shower. Did not get dressed. Did not leave the house. I barely left my room. I used to be so on top of things. Very self reliant, but then Adam spoiled me and now yesterday I'm I was a loser.
Today has been a 115% improvement since I'm showered, prettified, wearing cute clothes, and being productive at work. I even had breakfast. I think today I will replenish my fridge which only has pizza dough, a smidgen of milk, and some salad dressing in it. I promise that I will draw at least one picture today and I will eat something that resembles a healthy dinner.
In my late night misery yesterday, I decided to start a vlog (video blog) and document my slow decent into madness while Adam is gone. Either that or I will come out on top and be my self-reliant self again. Here's the link.
Oh, and my car is broken again but thankfully my friend Justin is working on it. Hooray!
Maybe if I'm really good today, I will let myself play some Xbox. :)
Today has been a 115% improvement since I'm showered, prettified, wearing cute clothes, and being productive at work. I even had breakfast. I think today I will replenish my fridge which only has pizza dough, a smidgen of milk, and some salad dressing in it. I promise that I will draw at least one picture today and I will eat something that resembles a healthy dinner.
In my late night misery yesterday, I decided to start a vlog (video blog) and document my slow decent into madness while Adam is gone. Either that or I will come out on top and be my self-reliant self again. Here's the link.
Oh, and my car is broken again but thankfully my friend Justin is working on it. Hooray!
Maybe if I'm really good today, I will let myself play some Xbox. :)
Week Of (Attempted) Fashion 20
Hello Friends. I have two outfits to share with you today even though I've been pretty good at coming up with new ideas. I just suck at the picture taking part.
This is the time I get to bust out the boots and leggings!
More to come!
This is the time I get to bust out the boots and leggings!
More to come!
December 12, 2012
I Have A Blog??
Of course I do. I've just been a horrible, neglectful parent but in my defense, I was really really busy with work n' stuff. Just last Monday we moved into our brand spankin new office so these past couple weeks have been filled with situating ourselves, unpacking, and getting these darn phones to work right!
It's a pretty fantastic office, on the second floor, all grey, black, and modern. My only complaint is that it's unbelievably cold. I spend my lunch break in the kitchen with my body pressed up against the glass windows to absorb the sunlight (I apologize to anyone who may be walking by). Take a look at some of the beauty!
It's a pretty fantastic office, on the second floor, all grey, black, and modern. My only complaint is that it's unbelievably cold. I spend my lunch break in the kitchen with my body pressed up against the glass windows to absorb the sunlight (I apologize to anyone who may be walking by). Take a look at some of the beauty!
Yeah. Pretty great. And it looks bigger and better in person.
I've also been pretty distracted by this guy.
I'm sure you can see why. We've been planning out our Zombie movie, watching British sitcoms, making homemade pizza, looking for roller blades, playing co-op on Xbox, doing a Die Hard marathon, calculating the perfect oreo-to-milk ratio, getting Chinese massages, building Lego ships, finally enjoying the snuggling weather, and visiting In-&-Out way too often.
So, life is pretty good.
Busy, but good.
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